Who is the pastor’s wife?

By Mary Cox | Pastors’ Wives
mcox@gabaptist.org, 770-936-5253

Pastors’ wives in all cultures often ask themselves, “Who am I? Where do I fit in the church? What is expected of me?” We all have a cookie-cutter image of what we think a pastor’s wife should be. She should always be sweet, loving, caring to all people, serving in all gatherings, perfect wife, perfect mother, and she should always look good while doing it! The reality is that we are all made in His image, but we are all created uniquely. We have been created exactly the way God wanted. Each of us has our own gifts, talents, personalities, and passions. 

Over the years I have been amazed to see how God has used pastors’ wives in different roles. Some are teachers, some serve in the nursery, children’s or youth areas. Some love to serve in hospitality or be the church hostess. Some are amazing prayer warriors and encouragers. Some have great music ability, and some not so much! You may feel overwhelmed by the role, inadequate and lonely. But God created you and chose you for this role.

Jill Briscoe says, “It isn’t a matter of how much Christian activity we can generate, or whose expectations we can meet, but rather how well we know, love, and serve the Lord. God created us, painted us with the colors of our culture, and crafted us marvelously for the special calling He had in mind for us to do. My love for God drives all my spiritual activity in my life as a pastor’s wife. Because I love Him, I want to witness and lead others to Christ. Because He came as a servant, I want to serve others. He bore other people’s burdens, and I want to do the same. The more I spend time with Him, the more I want to become like Him.”

We have the wonderful privilege of being married to a man who has a high calling as pastor. We can double our impact by combining our gifts and efforts. Peter said that a believing husband and wife are Heirs together of the gracious gift of life (1 Peter 3:7). Together we have a common Savior and a common cause serving Christ.    

So, who is the pastor’s wife? She is made in the image of God to love and serve Him forever. She is graced with the gift of a husband who loves and serves the Lord as her partner. She may be called to motherhood, a great privilege and responsibility to nurture her children in the Lord. She loves the church Christ died for and seeks to serve as best she can. 

Let us always remember that God created us to serve Him in the role of a pastor’s wife.  What a great privilege that He chose us!

Published April 7, 2021